1400 Parkmoor Ave, Ste 240B, San Jose, CA 95126
information@razingthebar.org
Copyright © 2019 · All Rights Reserved · Razing The Bar
CONTACT US
1400 Parkmoor Avenue, Suite#240
San Jose, CA 95126
(669) 215-5310
information@razingthebar.org
Relationships
What We Do
Our Relationships
Give Now
The Relationship Is the Method
What it takes to build a relationship.
Housing and mentoring are how we deliver our work. The relationship is what changes a young person’s life. And a relationship is not a feeling that happens on its own. It is built, on purpose, one kept promise at a time.
Many young people have learned, for good reasons, not to trust adults or systems.
Trust is earned through specific, repeatable behavior.
We measure trust. We never assume it.
Source: (Razing the Bar, 2026).
In Every Contact
Five things young people ask of the people beside them.
Every service we deliver, from a grocery trip to a lease signing, is delivered through the five elements of developmental relationships (Search Institute, n.d.). In the young person’s own words:
“Show me that I matter to you.”
Be dependable, listen, and show up when we said we would. Keeping every scheduled contact is where care starts.
“Push me to keep getting better.”
Expect a young person’s best, help them stretch, and help them learn from setbacks, toward goals they set.
“Help me complete tasks and achieve goals.”
Navigate hard systems together, from benefits and financial aid applications to a first budget, and stand up for them when they need it.
“Treat me with respect and give me a say.”
Young people write their own goals and their own budget, and co-lead our community gatherings.
“Connect me with people and places to broaden my world.”
Workshops, campus visits, employer connections, and warm introductions to people who can help them grow.
How Trust Is Built
Trust is not given. It is earned, and it can be repaired.
These are the practices our Community Mentors follow in transitional housing, rapid re-housing, and permanent supportive housing alike (Razing the Bar, 2026).
Ability
A young person believes their mentor can actually help.
What it looks likeKnow the rules and the resources. When the answer is “I don’t know,” say “I’ll find out by Thursday,” and then do it.
Benevolence
A young person believes their mentor cares about their interests, not only ours.
What it looks likeAsk what the young person wants before offering anything, and follow their goals, not the mentor’s.
Integrity
The mentor keeps promises and follows the same rules for everyone.
What it looks likePromise only what is in the mentor’s control. Keep every appointment, or reschedule before it is missed.
Fair process
People trust decisions more when they had a voice and understood the reasons.
What it looks likeExplain how a decision is made and who makes it, ask for the young person’s view first, and give the reasons in writing.
Transparency
Trustworthiness and transparency are core principles of a trauma-informed approach (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2014).
What it looks likeAt the first meeting, explain what stays private and what does not, so there are no surprises later.
Rupture and repair
Every relationship has ruptures. Repairing one openly can make trust stronger.
What it looks likeName it (“I was late and didn’t call”), take responsibility, ask what would help, and change the practice.
Consistency over time
Trust grows through many small, predictable contacts more than through big gestures.
What it looks likeThe same day and time each week where possible, and early notice of any change in mentor, schedule, or time off.
“I don’t know, but I’ll find out by Thursday.” Then find out by Thursday. That is how trust starts.
What Keeps It Safe
Warm, steady, and safe.
Boundaries make trust possible.
Clear boundaries keep the relationship safe and predictable, which is what lets trust grow. They apply to every employee, intern, and volunteer.
The relationship exists to help a young person reach their own goals. Warmth and care are part of the work.
Every contact is trauma-informed.
We build on the principles of a trauma-informed approach: safety; trustworthiness and transparency; peer support; collaboration and mutuality; empowerment, voice, and choice; and attention to cultural, historical, and gender issues (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 2014).
Peer support is built into who we are: people with lived experience walk beside young people every week.
A Web, Not a Chain
One relationship opens the door to many more.
Housing lasts when a young person has people to call. So the goal is never a young person who depends on us. It is a young person surrounded by people, so their support holds without us.
The circle around every young person: for us at the center, by us beside them, with us all around.
Source: (Razing the Bar, 2026). Information about a young person is never shared with anyone without their written consent.
Where It Leads
Permanent belonging, defined by the young person.
Permanent belonging means a young person has, by their own definition, at least one unconditional, lifelong relationship, a home they can keep, and communities where they are known, valued, and needed (Razing the Bar, 2026).
People
At least one person who is there for them, no matter what, for life.
Place
A home they can keep.
Identity and culture
Belonging to the communities that make them who they are.
Community and contribution
Being needed, with a role where what they give matters.
Legal ties
Only if the young person wants them.
The testThe relationships hold after our services end.
Rituals of Connection
Relationships grow where people keep coming back.
Monthly community gatherings
Every month, young people, staff, and neighbors come together for connection, belonging, and joy. Young people co-host each gathering, and young people who have moved on are always welcome back (Razing the Bar, 2026).
A place for you
Every relationship a young person builds adds to the ones holding them up. Volunteers, partners, landlords, and neighbors all have a place in the circle.
Find your place on Join Us →
A home opens the door. People keep it open.
Give NowJoin Us
How we work.
The principles behind every home and every relationship.
Our Theory of Change
How change happens.
The order in which young people build toward permanence.
Our Impact
What the numbers show.
The outcomes we measure and report every year.
References
Razing the Bar. (2026). Program operations manual [Internal manual], Sections 18.2, 18.2.4, 18.2.7, 18.2.8, and 20.3.
Search Institute. (n.d.). Developmental relationships. https://searchinstitute.org/developmental-relationships
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2014). SAMHSA’s concept of trauma and guidance for a trauma-informed approach. Youth.gov. https://youth.gov/feature-article/samhsas-concept-trauma-and-guidance-trauma-informed-approach
Razing the Bar, Inc. · 1400 Parkmoor Avenue, Suite 240B, San José, CA 95126 · A California nonprofit public benefit corporation and 501(c)(3) public charity · EIN 80-0441705 · Contributions are tax-deductible to the extent allowed by law.